Radical Rick is no stranger to snow, slopes, or Christmas. Read on as we count down raddest episodes that show Crushed Crank Canyon doing the holidays right.
While it may not be Santa’s Workshop, or Tim Burton’s cutesy-gumdrop Christmas Town, Crushed Crank Canyon puts its own chilled spin on winter break, snowy weather, and the holidays.
Browsing through Damian’s episode collection, we found our favorite hero fording deadly snowstorms, stirring up mayhem on the slopes, and enjoying plenty of moments that belong under the mistletoe.
The nods to holiday cheer and goodwill toward men might surprise you. Come Chrimstas Eve, even card-carrying baddies like Skuzzer Switchblade and Butch Cartilige are no Scrooge and Marley (might need to brush up on your Dicken's for that reference!).
All this to say, we’re spiking the eggnog with rad gland adrenaline and counting down some killer, seasonal Radical Rick episodes.
Read on, Rad fans… and if you rolled up last year’s jockstrap in red and gold wrapping paper, then stick around for the White Elephant gift.
April, ‘81: Radical Rick Smokes a Snowmobile
In their first winter escapade, Radical Rick and MX Mug follow a hot (or, rather… a freezing cold) tip about a BMX race with a $5,000 prize up to Alaska.
When they get there, they meet a bald, mustached, red-nosed baddie, (the kind of guy you’d find lifting barbells in old-time photographs) who charges them $300 to enter a snowmobile race.
With spokes and wheels versus snow-eating treads, it’s a close call. But in the end Radical Rick smokes the competition… and partakes in a sweet, eskimo kiss with an Alaskan beauty queen.
March, ‘83: ‘Snow Way to Go’
The episode starts by giving a shout-out to BMX legends Jeff Bottema, Stu Thomsen, and Toby Henderson, riders who were known for going skiing in between races.
Taking his cue accordingly, we find MX Mug teaching Radical Rick how to ski… and then shaking his head moments later when the Radster’s taking curves, jumps, and of course, girls… with eye-watering speed.
He may think he’s champ of the bunny slope… but less we forget, Damian himself was an actual ski instructor back while he painted this episode!
“It’s fascinating that Crush Crank Canyon can have both palm trees and snow.” - Damian.
October, ‘84: Near Death on Neverest
The closest of the Rad Squad’s alpine shaves finds Radical Rick and MX Mug hucking the Attackilac to the top of Mount Neverest so they can fire a meteor rock back into space.
In preceding episodes, Mug pockets the rock, absorbs its energy, and turns into a glowing, jelly-limbed gumby who can finally beat Radical Rick in a competition.
But when Mug’s nose grows into a third hand, it’s time to send the glowing shard back where it came from.
The blast from the Attackilac finishes the job, but knocks the squad unconscious in the sub-zero snowdrifts. When a single page of, (you guessed it…) BMX Plus! magazine flutters by Rick’s nose and rouses him, our hero taps what rad energy he has left and gets them off the mountain.
And instead of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, we get a frozen Mug thawing over the Attackilac’s turbo engine.
Warms the heart, doesn’t it?
Not to mention the extremities.
May, June, July ‘89: Skuzzer versus Avalanche
Not what we’d expect from three episodes stretched over the start of summer… but part of the Radster’s greatness is zigging where he ought to zag.
After disguising himself as Radical Rick’s principal, Skuzzer abducts the Radster, drives the Attackilac up a snowy mountain and then fires our hero out on the slopes Evil Knivel style.
Skuzzer then tees off with the Attackilac’s all-too-real tank rounds… only to bury himself in the ensuing avalanche while Rick snowboards to safety.
Before we’re done here, we should mention that Skuzzer Switchblade frozen in ice like a wooly mammoth might make a swell Christmas ornament.
What do you say, Damian?
January, ‘88: World Peace Bomb Disguised as a Movie Set Christmas Tree
It’s so zany, we can’t describe it with a straight face.
To the dismay of the Rad Squad, Purin Flashin hands off his World Peace Bomb, (all decked out with ornaments and tinsel) to the prop department of a flamboyant Hollywood director.
His idea? Blow up the tree in an action scene for his B grade movie passion project: ‘Santa versus the Smurf Vampires.’
We love it.
Right up there with Sharknado and Snakes on a Plane.
Last but not least, there’s the jolly guy himself.
More than once, the Rad Squad and Mean Inc. forget that it’s Christmas Eve… and get their reminder from a Santa Claus who rides a sleigh pulled by chromoly bikes, (December, ‘83).
Saint Nick’s one forgiving character.
Even though Radical Rick mistakes him for a home intruder and ties him up with Christmas lights (January, 91), we find Father Christmas giving the Rad Squad a flying sleigh ride home, (January, 92) and coming down the chimney right when Mean Inc is about to cut the Radster’s helmet off… along with his head.
With Butch and Skuzzer taking a break to swap gifts, Santa tilts the odds and frees the Rad Squad from a magnetic tractor beam.
Talk about a gift that keeps on giving.
“Be good to somebody who needs you. That’s cool… that’s Christmas.”
Closing caption, January ‘92 Episode.
That does it, rad fans.
What do you think? What wintery episode have we nailed (or missed) that deserves a rad shout?
Leave a comment or let us know on instagram!
And...Have a Rad Christmas!!!